Home Decorating at its finest.

I decided to redecorate my dining room.  Sounds simple enough right?  I chose a theme I loved (peacocks and classical lines) pick colors, and readied myself and my house for a week's long project.

Oh, how I laugh now at my optimism.

The room in question has two full walls, one half wall and a wall with a patio door.  It also has a chair rail and hard wood floors.

I poured my paint from can to tray, impressed that I didn't spill a drop per usual.  4 hours and an old school rap party later and I have the first coat done.  I then make the mistake of releasing the cats.  My white cat and my seal cat come bounding from the bedroom they've been quarrentined in and proceed to investitage this "new" room.  And my white cat quickly becomes my "Emerald" cat.  One bath and several scratches later, my white cat returns.  I return to cleaning up my mess.

Which turns into "Follow the Emerald dot road" all over my hardwood floor.

I put down a canvas cover.  Didnt get a speck of paint on it.  Oh no.  It jumped the cover.  went straight for the floor.

Everything is put on hold for 3 days while I go to work.

Just finished the final coat of paint, took a razor blade to the tape that wouldnt pull up and started moving things in and around.

It's beautiful.

I screwed up more times than I can count, the room is technically still a mess but its beautiful.

and has a ton of Peacocks!

I'm trying to be positive.  The urge to vent and rant is quite overpowering but I will survive.  Me and Gloria Gaynor anyway.  I need to write, but for some reason I just can't bring myself to type or pick up a pen.  Is it fear?  Is it insecurity?  Is it boredom? 

I'm going to crawl back to my hole now and try to figure out why I am my qorst enemy and biggest stumbling block.

It's been a long, long time since I posted.  Life has changed.  Someone once told me that the constants in life were death and taxes.  I agree.  I've lost a job, had several hopeful moments and a death or two since my last post.

That said, a lot of things have stayed the same.

I'm still indecisive about life in general and have no direction.  Or even want to find the direction which I find the more pressing issue.  I've applied to finish my master's degree which I think will help. Maybe being back in an academic mindset will help me make decisions.  

Need a reader? I'm your girl

Hi, I'm Haley and I am a book-a-holic.

Wait, wrong meeting.  

I'm quirky, eclectic and hopelessly romantic.   I love a good fairy tale.  I prefer to say that I have a healthy interest that in no way needs to be medicated interest in the romance genre, but I'm not picky. Some people fix cars, some people scrap book, this girl reads.  What exactly do I read? So glad you asked!  

10 Recently Read (in no particular order)

1. The Secret Life of Damian Spinelli by Carolyn Hennessy

2. Explosive 18 by Janet Evanovich

3. Deadlocked by Charlaine Harris

4. Dance of Dragons by George R. R. Martin

5. The Duke is Mine by Eloisa James

6. Earth Song by Catherine Coulter

7. Bright Young Things By Anna Godberson

8. The Garden Intrigue by Lauren Willig

9. Lost in Time by Melissa De la Cruz

10. Kiss the Girls by James Patterson

Now that you know what's on the floor next to my bed, here is what is on my favorites shelf, it was hard to narrow them down!

1. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell

2. The Bride By Julie Garwood

3. Loves Music, Loves To Dance, By Mary Higgins Clark

4. Cradle and All by James Patterson

5. Flowers in the Attic by VC Andrews

6. Eclipse by Stephenie Meyer

7. Dead Before Dark by Charlaine Harris

8. The Lady Elizabeth by Alison Weir

9. One for the Money by Janet Evanovich

10. Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden

11. The Flame and the Flower by Kathleen E. Woodiwiss

I think my book list will tell you more than I ever could about  myself. 

Can youhave a midlife crisis at 28?

Can you have a mid-life crisis at 28? If so, I totally am. 

One - I'm an actress.  I love to be on stage, to preform, to dance, to sing.  But that's not letting me eat.

Two - I'm a writer - of sorts.  I like to create worlds and characters, to see how they would react in a given situation.  It feeds a God complex in me that I never knew I had.  But I can't find the time to sit down and do it.

Three - I'd like to think I'm a teacher.  I don't have a degree or actively teach but I think I'd be good at it.

Four - I love libraries.  I think I'd be a good librarian but I don't know what all goes into it and I get more confused day by day as I try to look into it.

Five - I am majorly indecisive because my life and my need to sleep indoors and eat on a regular basis makes me back burner things.  Then I forget. And try to come back.  Then forget again
What do I do?

Wait...didn't I just do this?

So the last two weeks since I posted have been a roller coaster ride to say the least.  In my last post I was lamenting about being forcibly unemployed and the the pro's and con's of working in a tourism based environment.  Today, I will pose a query, a conundrum if you will.

What exactly do you do when the company you work for, that has laid you off, calls you back to work until the end of the year? 

Now before you answer, let me share this story with you.

As I said in my last post, October 30th was to be my last day at my current job.  As my lst day was drawing to a close, the Owner of the company ( who I really think doesn't have all the details of what is going on.  She has the big picture, but no details in my opinion) asks me to stay on another week, helping the marketing department.   No big there, I said yes and proceeded to go through the melancholy about losing my job...again....one week later.  So after my week was up, I packed my desk again and let myself out of the office.  This was Friday.  Saturday morning I filed for unemployment, called the retail job I'd managed to snag and said my availability was now wide open if they could see past giving me 7 hours a week and prepared for the descent of my mother, stepfather and grandmother. 

Fast forward to Monday.   Monday was my recital performance.  I was in a panic to begin with, nerves running high when I recieved a phone call from my former employer asking me to come back to work, right then. 

I had a problem.  In the three days since I had left the office my retail job had given me a 30 hour a week schedule and the state had accepted my unemployment. 

So I told the office "Um, I knew this would happen.  I told my supervisor that without a call back date I had to accept work from an available position.  I'm not available except at these times."

To which this was the reply:

"Um, let me call you back."

About two nervewracking hours later, I do indeed get a call back saying this:

"So you have a descision to make. You can either work for the retail job or you can come back until Dec 31 and work for us."

So of course I chose the office.  I've never had to call someplace and be like "Um, just kidding!  thanks but now I have to work at my other job."  

I felt ridiculous and stupid and completely unprofessional.  Which I hate.  Fortuneatly, the retail place was
cool about it and unemploymetn was like, um what?  That was quite the eventful phone call.

I'm not complaining about having a job, believe me.  I realize how lucky I am to have said job and that I can work it a couple more weeks.  It just boggles my mind.  I mean seriously, they couldn't figure out that they needed me BEFORE I left and saved me some emotional wreckage?

So I made the joke to a co-worker about the office going to hell in a hand basket as soon as I left.  She agreed with me.  Apparently it did.  Which is why I got my job back.

Turning, Turning

I began working at the age of 14.  I started to babysit pretty regularly for one family and missed every high school soccer and basketball game (we didnt have a football team) because of it.   I didn't care.  Then.  At age 16 I joined the wonderful world of retail (at christmas mind you) and believe it or not really enjoyed myself.  Its been 11 years since then and I have other work experience to offer included but not limited too: banking, nanny-ing, costume maker, librarian and more retail.   

I have never been fired, asked to resign or laid off.

Until now.

I was told that in two weeks I will no longer be employed by the company I am currently working for.  Granted yes, they gave me notice. But what really grinds my gears, as Peter would say, is the fact that those in my department that are not getting laid off all were hired a good 6 months if not more AFTER me.  I mean really?  Does company loyalty and senoirity not mean anything anymore?  I asked if this was in any way related to my job performance and my supervisor said "No, you're one of the best I have."

So I'm getting laid off why? 

To top that all off, I have no call back date which means that I am not guarenteed to have a job.   I'm upset, and a lot scared.  Until I know for sure what amount I'll be getting from unemployment I don't know if I'll be able to pay my bills.  I can't just go get another full time job because I live in a tourist town that is winding down for the season.  (The lay-offs are not uncommon in this area, in fact they are jokingly referred to as winter vacation.  However, usually the begin in January, not November.  And I'm not included on the list.) Not to mention that I know by next spring when tourism (hopefully) picks back up I'll be back (hopefully).

So after my massive meltdown and pity party I calmed down and decided to look at this as a much needed break.  I was lucky enough to get a part time job (once again in retail) for christmas that will help me to supplement my unemployment until my job calls me back. 

Pro's
No more having to be at the office at 7 am.
Greatly reduced driving on ice covered death traps also known as roads with huge hills.
Living in my comfy clothes all day
Less office politics/bull****
Being able to catch up on my soaps!
and most importantly:
WORK ON MY BOOK!!!

Con's
a lot less money
a lot less security
a lot more worry.

It's a toss up.  I'm a pisces so I'm in two minds about everything, anyway.  On the one hand, the lightened load will give me a much needed break.  On the other hand, I was raised to work, to take pride in what I do and not to free-load, because no matter what unemployment is not a career choice.

I don't know what to do. 

My cats have to eat after all.